Taking the ‘Cringe’ Out of Selling

Many professionals, consultants and even professional business developers and sales executives hate the idea of having ‘to sell’. 
 
Even the mention of the word is sometimes too much to bear so instead they prefer to use ‘business development’ or ‘account management’ or ‘client relationships’ anything but ‘selling’.
 
However pause for a moment and consider this. The more senior you become (especially as a professional in practice) the less relevant your expertise and technical skills are and what becomes more valuable is when you are able to create highly trusted and open relationships with others, especially clients.
 
Here are 9 reasons why people hate the idea of ‘selling’ and how to learn to ‘love’ to sell and grow business.
 
 
1.     Selling is an ‘Accidental (and Low Status) Profession’.
 
Nobody (even professional sales people) ever thought when they were 7 years old that what they really wanted to be when they grew up was a ‘sales person’. No. They wanted to be astronauts, sailors, soldiers, scientists, engineers, doctors, yes even accountants and lawyers.
 
Even if they did want to grow up to be a ‘salesperson’ I’m sure they were quickly put off the idea by their parents.
 
There was no way that you were going to be a salesperson. That’s just too low status a job. I mean, who even wants to say that they’re a salesperson. I’ve known lots of professional sales people who can’t wait until they’re a sales manager or sales director because now they’re ‘management’.
 
But speak to the most successful people in the world and they will tell you that the one skill they would teach to their kids is how to sell.
 
The skill of how to take an idea, a service, a product and find and create a relationship with someone else where that idea, or service, or product solves a problem for them and for that they are happy to pay them.
 
When we sell, we are looking to identify and solve problems and ease pain for our clients. The more problems we can solve for our clients, then the more successful we can be and we create LTCV – ‘Long Term Client Value’.
 
 
2.     They Think of Selling as a High-Pressure Exercise.
 
The predominant stereotype of a sales person is someone who will charm, smarm and pressurise us to buy something we have no need for or interest in. That model of selling evolved way back in the day when ‘commercial travellers’ often had one product and if they didn’t sell – they didn’t eat. Hence the pressure. It was survival thing – you or me.
 
However in today’s interconnected and digital world what we sell, who we sell to and how we sell is significantly more sophisticated.
 
Often the people doing the selling are experts in their field – and they have to be. Not because they have to explain anything to the ever more sophisticated, mobile, educated and wireless enabled customer or client – but because now their role is one of an advisor.
 
Their job is not to ‘push’ anything but to help clients to understand how to deploy their services to solve one or all of the four ‘Principles of Value’ to a client.
 
1.     How to save time.
2.     How to save money.
3.     How to solve their problem.
4.     How to help them feel good.
 
That’s it. Selling is about ‘being of service’ and the more people we can be of service to – and monetise the value of that service – then the more successful we shall be.
 
If we can’t do any of the above for a client or they can’t see how we can do it for them – we just walk away and find someone we can be of service to. That’s just being professional.
 
 
3.     They Fear Rejection (and Failure).
 
It is said that ‘sales people live lives of constant rejection – interspersed by moments of blissful triumphs’. Rejection is a fact of selling and we do have to live with it but it does make the victories sweeter.
 
Just consider two things though when you are rejected.
 
1.     That person has just voluntarily removed themselves from the benefit of your time and attention – which can then be better and more profitably applied elsewhere.
 
They have just by choice removed themselves from your tribe. Move on. Spending time worrying about that or doing your best to win or retain them is not an effective use of our valuable time.
 
2.     The reasons we are rejected can be many – but seldom personal. They don’t know you well enough to reject you personally so something else didn’t click. Fear of rejection is most linked to a corresponding fear of failure but there are really only two states in anything we do in our professional lives – success or feedback.
 
Once we learn from the rejection, we can adapt. Selling is a process of focused activity. Learn from it and come back stronger the next time. That way those clients who do choose to work with us – get the best of us.
 
 
4.     They Take Objections Personally.
 
Objections are not rejections.
 
Neither are they the next worst thing – indifference. If a prospective client indicates indifference to your offering, just pack up and leave. The world is an abundant place (particularly now that we can sell services and products anywhere into the digital market place) and we do not have to work with indifferent people. We are professionals after all, we value ourselves.
 
If we make an extra effort (e.g. reduce fees, offer more services free gratis) to challenging clients then they usually are the ones who cause us the most grief. They will constantly want more for less. If you have those clients, it’s because you never really sold them on your value just a discount. Sack one of them a month and make space for better clients.
 
Some people for whatever reason don’t choose to work or connect with me. There may be lots of reasons for that but I don’t lose sleep over it. I work with the best for me because they have demonstrated that they can make decisions and choose to work with me. Those clients (and many subsequent friends) I help to be the best at what they do. 
 
Objections however are usually the prospective client pushing back because they haven’t yet understood the value of your offer.
 
Welcome objections, project value and every one dealt with is a step closer to the win.
 
 
5.     They Are Not Extroverts.
 
Many professionals and consultants in accounting, finance, tech, engineering, as well as entrepreneurs and business owners seldom identify as extroverts – people who thrive on projecting themselves and their energies out into the environment around them. Rather they see themselves as introverts and therefore quieter, less ‘noisy’, more reflective.
 
If so, that’s great. You have the perfect personality to be a High Trust Advisor. Extroverts make the worst sales people and networkers. Why? Because they are only interested in talking about themselves. In a world of even greater distraction – nobody cares! Selling is no longer about ‘pitching’, it’s about listening.
 
Introverts listen. Ask. Clarify. Guide.  If you’re an introvert (once you learn the right strategies and skills such as those in the High Trust Advisor business growth program) you are guaranteed success in sales and client relationships. Clients would rather hear themselves speak anyway!
 
 
6.     They Lead with Logic and Expertise.
 
It’s not your fault. That’s what you’ve been thought all your professional life. How to do the job and that involves logic, sequence and rationale. However it’s no longer enough.
 
In a world where AI (artificial intelligence) is already replacing transactional and process based work, professionals need to focus on the interpersonal and emotional intelligence skills in order to retain their position and relevance to their firms and clients.
 
Those who fail to do so will be replaced.
 
In the near future it is human advisors who can display empathy, understanding, build high trust, rapport, demonstrate creativity and innovative thinking and who can coach others to do the same that are the people who will survive and thrive . The ‘bots’ haven’t cracked emotion – yet.
 
 
7.     They Fail to Step Out of Their Comfort Zone.
 
I read an excellent quote once. It said that ‘comfort zones are wonderful places but nothing ever grows in them’.
 
It’s not easy to step out of your comfort zone on your own. To take a risk, a chance to try something new or different. In fact, in spite of what many motivational speakers will tell us our psychology is fundamentally hard-wired against risk taking. That’s why many people prefer to stay in uncomfortable places rather than change.
 
Sigmund Freud once said that ‘people move away from pain and toward pleasure’ and that still holds true today. However if we don’t see more pleasure in making a change many of us will remain in a state of ineffectual discomfort. Even more, we demonstrate what is termed ‘recidivistic behaviour’ – we fall back into what’s comfortable when we face a daunting challenge – such as changing our behaviours – or learning to sell.
 
That is why I’ve spent over two decades coaching professionals to make a profound change in their sales or leadership objectives.
 
The value of a neutral third-party professional to help you clarify and articulate your professional goals, to provide the structure, the skills, the confidentiality, external perspective and the accountability is immense. Game changing.
 
If what you’re doing is not working. If it’s not enough. If it’s time to make a real change and face the challenge. Email me for a free and confidential chat at [email protected]
 
 
8.     They Hate Networking.
 
I get it. It’s like selling. Only it’s not. Networking is never about selling. We never show up at an event to sell our wares. Amateurs do that.
 
Here’s why. Nobody knows us and nobody cares about us and our services or products. Sorry, but it’s true. Plus I doubt very much that any of us have the ability to deliver the entire corporate marketing story in 8 seconds or less. Even if we did – nobody cares!
 
Networking is a daunting thing - especially for an introvert. Going into rooms full of people, having to talk to people, having to ‘sell’ yourself and your stuff, facing rejection. Awful.
 
Except it doesn’t have to be. Once you realise that networking is a strategy, a process (that can be learned) and that the purpose of showing up at an event is simple yet profound. Here it is. Networking for business or brand is successful when you have 1-3 people agree to meet you after the event for a coffee – even a virtual one.
 
If you do that, you’ve been very successful. Why? Because now you’ve gotten three interested and qualified people willing to spend at least 20 minutes to speak with you about how you can be of service. Undivided, focused and valuable attention.
 
That’s gold.
 
 
9.     They Hate ‘Small Talk’.
 
‘Small talk’ or the art of having a conversation with someone you have just met. Why can’t we just get to the business?
 
Well, we could but then the relationship becomes only a transactional one, based on price or timing or something less than a highly perceived value and those relationships will be replaced by AI.
 
Small talk is about building trust and rapport. More importantly is about building Highly Trusted relationship where we are not just liked and where some stuff gets shared with us but where we are considered to be a co-creator of solutions for our clients. Someone they hold nothing back from but actively engage with us so that together we can meet any one of the four ‘Principles of Value’ (see Reason 2).
 
Small talk is where we assess and are in turn assessed by others. This is where prospects and clients are checking our level of ‘perceived threat’ to them. Where ‘first impressions’ really do count when it comes to building a highly trusted relationship.
 
Actually, small talk is not really that challenging.  You can even create a structure for it.
 
‘Tell me a little about yourself’, ‘tell me a little about your business’, ‘what did you do before you got here’, ‘what part of the world/city are you coming from’, ‘have you been on vacation/holiday’, ‘how did you like it’, ‘are you a Netflix fan’.
 
It’s not really that challenging. But here is the real secret to ‘small talk’. Let them do the talking – we do the asking. The more the prospect or the client talk about themselves – the more relaxed and comfortable they become with us. All we have to do is ask the right questions to engage the person – and sit back and listen.
 
That’s the strength of a High Trust Advisor. We bring the trust, the emotion, the feeling to the game. Why would we take the time to do that? Because any highly trusted advisor understand that feeling always wins over logic. Win their hearts and their minds will follow.
 
Selling is about building a high level of trust with another person, identifying and resolving their most pressing problems, monetising it and then doing for it the long term.
 
But even still I don’t train and coach professionals to be sales people. I train and coach them to be Highly Trusted Advisors
 
Want to become a master at winning and keeping more clients. Join our Expert To Influence where I train 'rainmakers' and Highly Trusted Advisors here.